Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
