Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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