I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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