She said her name was "party"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
