OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize