I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
