a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
