Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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