i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
