carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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