....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
