I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
