new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This toilet bowl is my home.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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