She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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