I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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