Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
