im about as happy as oj after his trial
We named our party play list daddy issues
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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