I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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