shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
