i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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