my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
