Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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