Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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