I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
where am i from again
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
