we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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