week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
