Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
