My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
