I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
