Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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