you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
