True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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