if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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