i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Randomize
