I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
