I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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