apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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