I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My hand turned me down
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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