I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
