I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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