I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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