I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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