Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need a beard to bite.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize