My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
