just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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