3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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