Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
