I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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