My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
