Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
