i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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