It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
