She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
