I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
