we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
