farters have to be the big spoon...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
