I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
