Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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