literally had 100 drinks last night.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
