So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
