when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
