T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the day after is always just damage control
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
