I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
